Oblique Eulogy II
by Juditha Dowd
What is death like, she asks,
as if she believes I know.
Like sleep, I venture, like not waking?
She nods, dubious.
As if she believes I know,
my mother comes in a dream.She nods, dubious.
Her eyebrows meet like Frida Kahlo’s.
My mother comes in a dream,bends to three striped kittens in my bed.
Her eyebrows meet like Frida Kahlo’s—I’ve never noticed this.
Bent over kittens in my bed
she fades into me, becomes me
and I hardly notice.
It’s expected, unremarkable.
She fades, becomes me.
Fused, we resemble neither one.
Unremarkable, expected,
above my bed her face was young.
Fused, we resemble neither one.
In sleep, never waking,
above my bed her face was young.
What is death like, she asks.
Devices:
*Allusion - reference to a person, event, place, work of art, etc.
*Caesura - a natural pause or break
The pantoum style of this, repeating itself over and over, makes it seem as though it's a reoccuring memory in the poet's mind about her mother. "My mother comes in a dream" is said twice, suggesting that this dream may come often, and is so familiar because it's been repeated so many times. The experience of losing her mother is something that is unforgettable and seems to play over and over in her mind.
The first thing I noticed was the first and last line are the same: "what is death like?" When I began the poem I thought I would learn the answer. Especially with similes "like sleep" and "like not waking". These are the obvious answers but as I delved further into the peom I realized it is far more complex than that. The emotional aspects are what cannot be defined, which is why she ends with that question because of her struggles to accept her mother's death.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Caroline that the emotional connections the speaker has with her mother are more abstract, but she does connect her mother with certain images that give us a sense of the relationship she once had with her mother. The speaker's mentioning of her mother looking like Frida Kahlo indicates that the speaker thought of her mother as avery influential and strong female figure in her life. The repetition of her mother bending over "three striped kittens in [her] bed" probably indicates how maternal and loving her mother was when the speaker was a child.
ReplyDeleteThe other piece of this poem that I found interesting was the repetition of the speaker's mother "fading into" her daughter. Maybe this is another indication of how close the mother and daughter were during the mother's life. The speaker seems to see so much of herself in her mother that the two of them become "neither one" when her mother comes to her in these dreams.
I really like this form of poetry! The repetitions of "fades" and "fused" in the last few stanzas really bring emphasis to what the author is trying to convey. I tend to agree with Libby that the speaker's mother has made quite a lasting impression on her, but I don't think it's quite that abstract.
ReplyDeleteShe very blatantly states that her mother "becomes" her, and "fades" into her. I feel like this is the speaker's way of saying that her mother was a huge influence on her life. Not only this, but also that her mother has instilled in her values that she believes are correct. This isn't to say the speaker and the author are identical, as the speaker also repeats that they do not "resemble" one another. So while they are similar, that are definitely separate entities.
I think this poem displays the speaker's realization that she and her mother share a lot in common. A lot of women say that they've become more like their mothers as they've aged, and I see this phenomenon in the poem. She says "she fades into me, becomes me/And I hardly notice." it's like she gradually became more like her mother, and now she's beginning to notice it. I agree with Libby how the bed shows their closeness and the connection to the speaker's childhood. I also think in the poem she's seeing her mother as a person, and not as simply a maternal figure. The line "above my bed her face was young" leads me to believe this, since she can see her mother as a younger person, which would be different from the mother she knew best. Overall I think this poem highlights the complexities of a mother-daughter relationship that only occur to the daughter after her mother has died.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything that has been said, however, I think that the poet is also trying to express her acceptance of her mothers passing and now is trying to find meaning. The poet asks "what is death like" at the beginning and at the end of the poem, but I get the feeling that the real question she's asking is 'what happens when we die'.
ReplyDeleteThat distinction between what the line says compared to what was meant is important. For instance, when the poet mentions: "above my bed her face was young" indicates the poets ability to accept death. Youth is a positive word, if the poet couldn't accept her mother's death, the face would be old, not young.
I also think that the poet thinks that her mom is still watching over her, which is represented by the kitten reference. So although the poem addresses the bond between mother and daughter, I think it also addresses our ability to deal with death and to view it as a new and possibly comforting experience.
The first thing that caught my attention when reading this poem, was that I felt as though I was there. By asking questions, and making it into a story I felt like I was the speaker for a minute. Also all the repetition in this poem, made me want to read it over and over. When it says “she fades into me” and “fused” two times, I can picture it because I read it so many times. I thought then that they were the same person, but she says, “we resemble neither one”. This confused me a bit…but I understand at the same time. Lastly, when I think of poems about death, I picture really morbid imagery, but this poem was light and not really haunting at all, which surprised me.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the repeating of phrases in this poem may be a representation of the memory of the mother, and how the speaker will never be able to forget her. When the speaker is talking about her mother "fusing" into her, I see that as the speaker always carrying a part of their mother with them, although she is dead. I liked how the first and last line repeated because it gave the poem a unifying quality. The poet asked the question as the first line, then the line was repeated again at the end as if to leave the answer open to the reader.
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